Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)
Psychotherapist; Inclusion & Diversity Expert
Bless your EI heart! Congrats on your ability to name what is going on socially with you and women. There are a lot of brothers that are so committed to the Man Box that they will not say the thing you’ve just said. You are truly a mature man who is confident enough in his manhood that labels don’t intimidate or infuriate you. I had to say that.
Now, to butch it up. But first, many women are not accustomed to a fully evolved man, so know that even some of the ones that can dig you, will wonder the same things as others do. But don’t let that bother you, these have been indoctrinated and know how the Man Box-man looks, talks, walks, and dresses, etc. So be patient.
I’m going to offer suggestions for your question, but don’t get pulled over to the dark-side should you decide to take the "advice."
1) Talk slowly
2) Use as much bass in your voice as you can muster
3) Walk slowly with strength and swag—Denzel Washington is a good example
4) Wear darker colors; avoid being too fashionable
Now, the best way to attract the kind of woman that fits the man that you are is to Do You. The right one will be just fine with the out-of-the-man-box you. But, should you attract this woman using the above inane suggestions, as soon as you sense that she is the one, TELL HER THE TRUTH. If she is righteous (old school word for the right kind or one) then you’ll have a hearty laugh together. Let me know how this works? You know where to find me.